Oct 19, 2015

The commitment to pray has been good. I prayed for a church evangelistic meeting in U.S. and was delighted to find that a family member attended and accepted Christ. This brings great joy to our family. I learned that we only need to be faithful in praying. Sometimes I simply remember the person, not knowing the circumstances and details; knowing that the Lord works in His wonderful way. This way we wait on the Lord without passing “judgement” on how things should be. The Lord has also sent angels to bring me food, which whet my appetite significantly. I eat better. Words cannot express my gratitude. God’s providence is amazing. May God bless and reward their love. My students have also sent kind words to encourage me. I can only praise God for His blessings in surprisingly ways. I still long to be with the Lord “quickly” and be spared a slow and painful dying process. Some days I cry for His mercy. I struggle to submit to His sovereign will. May He carry me through! Specific Prayer Requests: 1. The effectiveness of the target therapy. 2. To cope with the pain. 3.To walk step-by-step with faith and hope. 爲他人禱告是有福的! 剛開始時， 爲美國一間教會的培靈佈道會祈禱，後來竟發現一位家人出席並接受了基督，這是何等的喜樂！我學到的功課就是我們只需要忠心祈禱，主會按祂的旨意成就。有時候我只是默默記念一個人，一個家庭，雖不知道具體情況和細節，但主是知道的，我的代禱内容不重要，神的奇妙作爲才是我所等候盼望的。這樣，也可避免自己意見多多或自以爲知道主的意念。 主也派天使給我預備不同的美食，這對我的胃口有很大的幫助。心中十分感激，願神親自報答他們的愛心，這讓我經歷神的愛顧和奇妙的供應！ 我的學生也紛紛寫下鼓勵祝福的話，我感謝神以不同的方式來祝福我， 托住我！ 我求主“快快”地接我回天家，使我不必度過一個漫長而痛苦的死亡過程。有些日子，我哭求神的憐憫，掙扎著要順服神的主權和旨意。求主幫助我！！ 具體的代禱：1.標把治療的效用2.應付疼痛3.用信心和希望一步一步走。

Oct 1, 2015

Thank you for your prayer and support! It has carried me through this time. I experienced peace despite increasing pain and discomfort. I was hospitalized once due to intense pain and had pleural fluid drawn from my lungs. Unfortunately the release from discomfort was short-lived. During hospitalization, I had quite some time alone doing nothing. As I quietened down, I felt ready to meet my Lord and pray that I may be released from this body on earth. I had closure with most things and felt ready to leave. There is not much to look forward to now as my activities are increasingly restricted. I can only wait on Him. “But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you.” (Psalm 39:7) I have to wait for His timing and His sovereign will. Now I merely desire to be relieved from the body. I pray earnestly to be ready to embrace God with faith, hope and love. Is that possible? What exactly does that mean? Can I be joyful and peaceful when the moment comes? My sister has come back from U.S. to care for me. I am thankful for all the love and support I have received from family and friends, knowing that I deserve nothing. I am so privileged to have you! Victor has also been wonderful and has come to accept my plight. It is difficult for him to see me in pain. We are journeying together and trust that he also would be blessed with faith, hope and love. I am confident that God will have new blessings in the days to come. I depend on God in breathing, eating, sleeping, and disposing bodily waste because they are a challenge nowadays. I am also praying not to be entirely body-centered and pain-focused. I pray to draw close to Him and submit to His sovereign good will. I pray to always hope in healing because with Him nothing is impossible. I pray to live day-by-day with gratitude and joy. I don’t think there is much for me to do on earth. If there is, I pray that God will show me. Although I cannot do much, I can pray. So I am going to devoted myself to prayer. If you have any prayer request, send me an email (moknyap@gmail.com) or whatsapp me. It would be the most meaningful task while waiting on the Lord on earth! 謝謝您的禱告和支持！保守我渡過這段時間，儘管疼痛和不適越來越多， 我卻經歷出人意外的平安。 我因劇痛住院兩天並抽肺積水，可惜這舒緩只是短暫的。住院期間我有一段長時間獨處和默默禱告，當我安靜下來時，感到已經準備好見主的面，心底裏盼望能從肉身釋放出來。對於世上的事， 我已有所交待， 沒有甚麽眷戀遺憾，由於身體的軟弱，活動越來越多限制， 我也沒有甚麽期待。 主啊，如今我等甚麽呢？ 我的指望在乎你！（詩篇39：7）我要等候神的時間和祂的旨意。但這刻我只希望能從肉體釋放， 不知是否真的準備好見神， 我禱告能帶著信， 望， 愛到主的懷抱 -- 這可能嗎？我對這知道的很少，也不真知道如何預備自己， 求主幫助我， 盼望當時刻來臨時，我能帶著是喜樂和平安見主！ 我姐姐已經從美國回來照顧我至十月底。我深深感謝家人和朋友的愛和支持， 這不是我配得的， 但神還是豐豐富富的賞賜給我。很感恩生命有你！ Victor在這段時間十分十分好！他接受我的困境， 只是看見我痛苦還是十分難受。我們一同走下去，相信他也必在信望愛中成長。我深信神必有新的祝福賜給他並陶造他成爲祂的喜悅的僕人！ 我每天的呼吸，吃飯，睡覺，和排泄都得依靠神， 因為這些生活中最基本的動作都隨時是我的挑戰。我祈求自己不要完以身體和疼痛為每天的重心。我祈盼能親近祂，等候祂完美的旨意和計劃在我身上成就。我也祈禱求醫治， 因為在祂沒有難成的事。我祈求靠住一天按一天的以感恩和喜樂而活。我想我應當沒甚麼事要完成了， 若有， 求主向我顯明！ 雖然我能做的事很少，但我依然可以禱告！ 所以我要全身心投入更多的祈禱， 就是為你們代禱。如果您有任何祈禱事項，給我發電子郵件（moknyap@gmail.com） 或whatsapp 我。這將是我在地上等候主期間一個最有意義的工作了！