August 26, 2015

After two weeks, I have gained better perspective of my illness. First, I continue to get myself ready to meet my Lord. Second, I continue to hope in God for His healing mercies. Third, I am learning to live day by day. Finally, I ask God if there is anything God wants me to do on earth. I have begun this new target drug for two weeks now. The side effects are manageable so far. I had some rash. Pray that the doctor will find out if it is effective or not soon enough. Do not worry about our financial needs – we will use our savings first. It is not like this drug can be effective for many years. So, we are taking one step at a time. The pain has increased. So whether it is this drug or another chemotherapy drug, the goal now is to contain the cancer as much as possible to reduce the pain and harm to the body, until one day nothing is effective or the body wears out. I earnestly pray that the Lord will give me strength in this process – I do not want to become bitter or angry in the midst of pain, or to feel far from His Love. I started going through my things – reading my devotional journal during teenage years (I was so very disciplined in writing them!), going through graduation pictures, listening to old tapes, remembering the first time I was interpreter for worship, etc… Of course, the wonderful time I have spent with you. Thank God for this Blessed Life! 經過兩週後，我對自己的病情有了較清晰的理解和接受。 首先，求主幫助我準備好迎見祂的面。二，我繼續仰望上帝醫治的恩典。三，我學習每一天生活一天。最後就是： 神還有甚麽要我做的嗎？ 這個新的標靶藥物我已經開始兩個星期了。其副作用還可以， 目前只有些出疹。我的禱告是醫生能盡快知道它是否有效。抱歉讓大家擔心我們的藥費- 我們將先使用儲蓄， 一步一步行。這種藥物也不是可以有效多年的， 但現時可以試試。 我的疼痛有所增加！ 因此無論是這種標靶藥物或其他化療藥，現在的目標是要壓低癌細胞，盡可能減輕疼痛和對身體其他的器官的危害，直到有一天沒有什麼是有效或身體耗盡。我懇切地祈求上帝會給我力量經歷這個過程 - 我不想因痛苦變得苦毒， 埋怨或憤怒，或感到遠離神的愛。請為我禱告！ 我繼續收拾我的東西 – 翻看我在青少年時期的靈修日記（我以前是多麼有紀律的寫下每天的學習！），畢業照片，看到第一次在崇拜做翻譯的秩序表，結婚照等等。當然還有跟你們分享的許多經歷！ 我一一為此感謝上帝的祝福！