The side effects hit much harder this cycle and I do not seem to recuperate much even on Day 5. The nauseating stays. The ache on the veins from the intravenous drug injection gets worse. These days I am feeling intensely “the heart is willing” but both the body and the mind are weak. Would the frailty of my body weed out my spirit bit by bit? Can one really stay strong in the Lord as a bruised reed or smoldering wick?
Last night while searching for a verse for someone getting baptized today, I came across this prayer that I love dearly. A few years ago I meditated on this prayer daily for almost a year, asking the Lord to strengthen my inner being. This is a powerful prayer for all of us:
Eph 3:14-21
14 For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15 from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge — that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. NIV
Happy Father’s Day in advance! Glory to our Father in Heaven.
Dear Doris
ReplyDeleteIt is hard.
May God's word touches you deeply and gives you the strength ( any kind) to go through these tough days.
Rest in the Lord.
Do not lose hope.
We are strong until we feel weak. Often when we feel weak we have no one to turn to, except to hide out/pause/recharge until we feel we are strong enough to go out and embrace the world - and the challenges that come with it.
ReplyDeleteI have been reading your blog messages. They remind me a lot of the days at Princess Tower when we went to cycles of joys and frustrations, with worries and happiness intertwining. Oh yes, worries were on the prevailing side. I have been worrying (rationalized as anticipation, uncertainty preparation ...) for many more years since then, just about almost everything. A lot of my times were spent as 苦中作樂, hopefully with a bit of purpose to justify my endeavours.
The Sunday sermon on father's day (I almost forgot it was the father's day) reminds me once again the God's loving kindness through the prodigal son and John 3:16. I am a father so I can somewhat echo the essence of the fatherhood from the human side. However because of our human nature learning to let go and rejoice in the presence of the Father is a continuous learning process.
This message pops up in my daily scripture e-mail today and I conveniently share it with you:
所謂「日進一尺，生活不易；日進一寸，生活更難。」好好利用今天，好叫你今天與神的距離比昨天近「一寸」，將自己的力量提昇到另一個層次，並進一步認清你在基督裡的身分。擔憂就是把信心錯投在別的東西上，你為了健康與經濟狀況、子女、以及前景擔憂嗎？你又是否計劃將來呢？你無須這麼作！要知道神不會在今天給你明天的答案、供應你明天的需用，因為神希望你好好享受「今天」。
明天太陽一出，神依然會與你同在。