This morning I played the piano for 2 hours, singing all my favorite hymnns throughout the years. It brought back warm memories of how the Lord carried me through during difficult times. It was so healing!
The recurring theme the Lord has for me is to offer myself to Him. Rom 12:1-2 Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God — this is your spiritual act of worship. NIV
One song that I love was "Embrace the cross" by Steve Green. "Embrace the cross where Jesus suffered, though it will cost all you claim as yours. Your sacrifice will seem small beside the treasure, eternity can't measure what Jesus holds in store.(Search the web for the whole song. It is wonderful!)
One thing that I have claimed as mine is my POTENTIAL EARNING POWER. The following is what I wrote prior to this worship time. Now I am ready to acknowledge it is not mine anyway and to give it back to the Lord.
When I discovered the huge lump in my breast, the first thought that came to mind was the mortgage payment and how Victor will manage if I die or lose my job. Later I was somewhat surprised how much this concerns me. Since we were first married, I had always considered it important for me to keep a full-time job so that Victor would not stay in a ministry simply for the income to support his family. Then through the years, our goal has shifted to saving enough money so that we can be free to involve in any ministries without having to worry about finances. "自由傳道" becomes our ultimate goal.
I have had a stable income although I do not work too hard to earn a lot of money. I have never fully immersed into any kind of private practice because I have teaching and ministry as my priority. However, this POTENTIAL EARNING POWER makes me feel good and secure. When that is threatened, I was anxious. So suddenly I felt like we do not have enough money. Now we cannot purchase any kind of health insurance - because I have the big C (cancer)... i am unsure of health care expenses, what if I become unemployed... etc. To be honest, I would rather lose a breast than lose my POTENTIAL EARNING POWER!
Now I must give this potential earning power to the Lord and take another step of faith to trust in His providence.
This is a fight. This is also a big test and witness.
ReplyDeleteI don't know you could play piano and know Greek. You are so blessed that you learned so much. Don't think too much. Take a step at a time. He will lead you.
ReplyDeleteDORIS, put your whole trust in God including your future. Whatever the situations will be,God will take care of you and victor. I shall continue praying for you!! Missing you!
ReplyDeleteSuzy called me talking about you in my voice mail.Elaine, your roomate concerned you much. We get connected again in facebook. Alwin , Judy Daniel, they all sent their best greetings to you!
Do you get the operation in HK? or in Macau? Can I give you a visit after you are fully rest after the operation?
Alice MA
Embrace the cross can be heard on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10LhDfP8CHM
ReplyDelete