Yesterday I was almost in tears because the sofa that we ordered did not arrive. I need it desperately to support my back as none of our chairs serve that purpose and the wounds do not allow me to lie flat on the bed. In the past I would be embarrassed to share this with others as I despise my own “juvenile” emotions. Now I do have a different perspective about human weaknesses.
When I first learned about the cancer, I had asked the Lord whether I am ready to face death because I am not sure if I am “good enough” to meet Him. If you are my long-time friends, you may know that I frequently struggle with being “good enough.”
After the surgery, I have to deal with primitive bodily needs such as getting a sip of water, the passing of waste, and even breathing… (It is no wonder Freud made such a big deal about oral, anal and genital needs!). The Lord has spared me from any major complications, so I only have mild difficulties with these basic needs. One night while sitting on the toilet bowl, struggling (forgot what the issue was), I choked (it hurts to cough). I prayed to the Lord to help me. When you are dependent on the Lord with these very basic primary needs, you are really humbled; there is no room for pride. At the end when someday we pass through death, we would all eventually face this loss of bodily functions. We have to trust God to help us transition into the life after.
It dawned on me that Our Lord Jesus willingly came to earth to become one of us. He chose to become man and was an infant with basic bodily needs, dependent on others care. This assures us of His acceptance of all our weaknesses as human, even when one day our body and our functions may become an embarrassment. He had also experienced death and He will help us transition into the life after death. How great is His love!
I remembered an old song from Urbana – Lord of the Universe (Margaret Clarkson) and I sang it in the bathroom (silently in my heart).
Lord of the Universe, Hope of the World
Lord of the (lyrics forgotten here) ….
Here on this planet, you live our brief years,
Vastness confined in the womb of a maid,
Born in our likeness you ransomed our race,
Savior we worship you, more and yet more,
Help us to honor you, more and yet more.
When God’s love is very real, “good-enough” is not a relevant question. It is almost silly to ask that. I prayed to the Lord that He would help me hold onto His love. (At the end we cannot hold onto our intelligence, strength, accomplishments, good deeds…)
I do not exactly know how yet and may He teach us to hold onto Him and His love.
Doris, amazing that you remember an old song that i sung in the early 80s. The 2nd and 3rd line should be:
ReplyDeleteLord of the limitless reaches of space,
here on this planet you put on our flesh
Incarnation is a mystery that we don't quite comprehend. One purpose, perhaps, is such that He can be with us, and let us know that He understands us in all our limitations.
以下是一位非洲牧者(African pastor in Zimbabwe)在他為主殉道後，人們在他工作間找到有關他立志的禱文，至為感人。
ReplyDelete"I’m a part of the fellowship of the unashamed, the dye has been cast, I have stepped over the line, the decision has been made, I’m a disciple of Jesus Christ. I won’t look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, my future is secure. I’m finished and done with low living, sight-walking, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tame visions, worldly talking, cheap giving, and dwarfed goals. My face is set, my gate is fast, my goal is heaven, my gate is narrow, my road is rough, my companions are few, my guide is reliable, my mission is clear. I won’t give up, shut-up, let up, until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, and paid up for the cause of Jesus Christ. I must go till he comes, give till I drop, preach till everyone knows, work till he stops me. And when he comes for his own he will have no problem recognizing me because my banner would have been clear."
I hope that the following translation could convey the message as is:
「我是那不用羞怯的基督團契成員，就像已打做好不能改動的機械模型。既已超越樊籬、做了決定、作主基督門徒，我就不會回望、放下、慢緩、退去或停步。我過去已被救主買贖，今天是滿有意義的生活，將來亦滿有安穩的把握。 我亦已放下那些低下、漫無目的、隨想、世俗虛談及低鄙目標。我現已校準方向，嚴謹虔敬、以天國為目標、走我的生命路。雖是艱苦窄路，少有同伴，但我的使命明確，先導者亦十分可靠。我不會放棄、閉口、放低，直至我氣息殆盡、禱告完成及全為主付上所有。我一定會為主往前直至主再臨、付出直至倒下、傳揚直至眾人皆知主名、工作直至祂叫我停下。當祂再來時，因著我鮮明旗號能被主明確認到。」This Prayer of an African Martyr has set a good example of how we walk along the Heavenly Road.
猶大書 1:21
ReplyDelete保守自己常在神的愛中, 仰望我們主耶穌基督的憐憫, 直到永生.
Let's keep ourselves, including our weaknesses, in the love of God.
God bless