April 10 My Brother

Somebody asked me when my brother would appear on my blog, so here it is!

My brother is the only son in the family. There are six of us – my four sisters, my brother and then I am the youngest.

My brother is about 2.5 years older. He was my playmate in my early years. As a young child, I spent more time playing marbles, 武俠功夫, guns and arrows, etc. more than dolls. He was quite a creative boy who taught me to use a yoyo as a fishing rod on top of our bunk bed. This bunk bed could change any minute to be a ship, a double-deck bus, a tent and many other things. One time he played doctor, cut my doll open and then stitched it back. My sisters were quite upset because the doll was expensive but I admired him for the discovery of what the doll was made of. He was destined to be a medical doctor.

My brother also taught me how to play chess, Monopoly and card games (e.g. show hand). I could win when the games involve a combination of luck and skill. However I always got beaten hard when it came to Chinese chess and Chess. As a young child I could not understand that a 3-year age gap makes a huge difference in cognitive development. I simply wanted badly to “measure up” some day and be as good as my brother.

I caught on his creativity in imaginative play and it stayed with me for many years. As a play therapist, I engaged well playing with boys. I was particularly skilful in letting the child win without their knowing it. I still love the pre-school age and always incorporate some fantasy play in my Sunday school class.

I learned very young that being male is important. Before long I discovered that my mother was expecting me to be a son based on the fortune-teller’s forecast. Since then I have always want to make sure I am as good as a son. It is hard to measure up when your brother is quite a smart guy. He got 五優四良 for the HKCEE (會考). When I took the exam, I also got 五優四良; however he got 5As & 4 Bs. I got 5As, 2 Bs and 2Cs. I was disappointed!! I was surprised I compared myself with my brother instead of my peers at school. After secondary school, we went our separate ways. I pursued an overseas education and there was no need to compare myself with him any more. By the way I did beat him in getting a PhD degree first!

Regarding the struggle about being "as good as a son," I cannot put the blame on my brother. It is a familial as well as cultural issue, perhaps a reality for woman in our generation. A few years before my mom passed away, she told me I was better than a few sons. Although I still struggle with womanhood, I know I measure up and I am just as worthy as a son.

The Lord has blessed me with a good brother. He is always there when I am in various life crises. Perhaps because I played well with him and tried to measure up without being competitve, I have always get along with guys at work and at church. Therefore I have many good brothers in the Lord too!