April 23 I am Okay

Folks are a bit worried about me after my last blog entry.

I am actually doing pretty good. Hospital settings stir up fears (more so than in a private office/clinic). Fears come and go; but when they come, it is an opportunity to confront them and understand them in greater depth. This way I can master my own fears and develop empathy for others. Otherwise I "waste" this learning opportunity. (A friend directed me to John Piper's short but well-written article on "Don't waste your cancer." [You can download the article and other books for free on www.desiringgod.org. I like the way he does his book ministries!]

On Tuesday I read more on gender differences on religiosity and started writing on the subject. I am praying to learn how to write in the presence of God (instead of dreading them as work). For many year I have tried to learn from Frank Laubach. He wrote Letters By A Modern Mystic -, one of the best book on practicing the presence of God. The book is out of print though. To my surprise - I just found it online now for download. (http://www.cfointernational.org/pdf/Letters%20By%20A%20Modern%20Mystic.pdf). It is a must-read!

On Wed I attended a seminar to make sure I am doing exercise correctly; then I joined my colleagues presenting our research findings at a church. I got very tired afterewards and realized I need to monitor my activity level to a point where I can feel alive and purposeful without getting too tired. In the past I think I have overworked myself without attending to my bodily needs. Hopefully I would change my lifestyle. Yesterday my sister came to help me work on the water filter. This water filter is a fancy one! (Gift from a friend, thank you!) We decided to pay for a technician to ensure it is working right. It is good to try it ourselves though!

Please pray for next Tuesday and Thurday as I have a ministry opportunity. It is important to me and I would have the peace of mind to start chemotherapy. Home help is getting in shape. At first I was reluctant to have another person in our 488 sq feet apartment. Now I have adapted and will make the best out of it. Now I get up early, do devotion and have my 1st around of exercise, this way I can be at home when home help arrives. I decide to take this opportunity to learn cooking and try out new dishes since I now have help.

By the 1st week of May, I should be ready for chemotherapy. Thanks for being there for me!